Kelly Adoggie, the only three-time winner of the prestigious SCOTTeVEST Employee of the Month Award, has gone berserk. Recent reports indicate the toy poodle is barking mad and has rampaged its way through the Jordan household. Tired of its chew toys, Kelly has moved up the food chain to furniture, as seen in this exclusive photo. To quell this growing problem, a desperate Scott has considered everything from Doggie hypnosis to cutting wolverine meat from Kelly's diet. "Although it doesn't seem like a far journey, I'm at my wits end," Scott said. "I've even had to move all my SCOTTeVESTs up to the top shelf in the cupboard. They are dog-bite repellent, of course, but Kelly leaves the nastiest drool stains."

GOTCHA! Disclaimer: Many of the stories contained in this newsletter have no basis in fact and any resemblance to actual people, facts or events is purely coincidental. Happy April Fools Day!

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